The last few days of our 8th grade school year were warm and hazy. It got hot soon I remember, because I was worried about my make up. I was a silly typical teenage girl I guess. I remember one of the last days of school I got permission to hang out at Kelly’s for a little while. I knew that would be cool, because I could see you too. I think that’s the day Kelly’s mom Linda said she knew your uncle Charles, or maybe Kelly told me that day I can’t quite remember. I remember thinking that once school was out, I was going to have to make a bigger effort to see you, we didn’t exactly live very close to one another, at least back then it seemed far. It really wasn’t far, because we walked it in the summer and winter. We walked many warm summer nights from my house to yours, and vice versa. We were standing in the middle of Kelly’s living room, and I remember her saying, “If you guy are gonna’ kiss, I’m outta’ here!” and you said “Bye Kelly” she appreciated you much more later in life.

I walked toward the dining room table to get something out of my bag, and I stood with both feet apart. I had a skirt on, a long flowy one to my knees, but nevertheless you said, “Don’t do that Dawn. Don’t stand with your legs apart like that, guys get stupid ideas” and I turned around almost offended and asked, “I know how to wear a skirt Jason, and how do you even know that?” and you said, “because I’m a guy and I’m getting stupid ideas. Plus, the sun is shining in that window and I can see the shape of your legs under there even through your slip” I was mortified at first, but then I felt this tinge in my gut, like almost a tickle. I liked the idea, I welcomed it. I wanted you to see me, but I was way too young to have those feelings. I was way too young for many things, we both were, but somehow it worked. I walked you home from Kelly’s and then went back, I had to check in with my mom. I hated leaving. I always wanted, from a very early moment in our relationship, to just be with you all the time. I’m not sure if that’s normal for a teenager, but at this point in life, I tend to question normal in general. We had a lot of summer days together after school let out. I basically stayed at your place all day, almost every day. I think my friends were annoyed with me, because they knew where I was, and I wasn’t with them doing girl stuff. My mom was worried enough that she took me to the doctor and got me on the pill. My mom was smart.

I’m starting to recognize what was unique about our relationship. I mean I always knew it was something, but I’m beginning to see what others saw I think. It’s like how a star is formed, all the components are there, it’s the heat that maintains that glow, the life of it. The intense heat keeps it burning, especially the brightest ones. We had heat right from the start. It was an intense attraction, I wanted things I didn’t even know were physically possible with you. I loved you so early on, I think it scared me. I think you felt the same, and I think it scared you too. How can one person have such a profound affect on someone? How did it last? How the hell did we keep that heat? Man, we’re pretty good at this shit. I’m almost convinced that it was too good.