I am a mother first, and that defines me in many ways. On June 25, 2013, my husband left for work and never returned, leaving a profound shock and awe throughout our household. My children were enveloped in pain, and all I could do was hold them close. That moment marked the beginning of a new blogging journey for me, another story my writing wrote for me. Although I was on track to complete graduate school and continue teaching, my plans were derailed by the unexpected. I found it challenging to focus on the topics I once wrote about as a writer and researcher. It felt disingenuous. Instead, I shifted my focus to what truly mattered to me – how to help my family cope and heal.
This blog became a lifeline. As I did a deep dive into blogging as a form of therapy particularly for coping with grief, I found some solace. I found a place to take the broken pieces and lay them out in front of me. It was like peeking into windows of what had been. They represented fragments of me that made up the woman I was before, which was still immature, insecure, and lacking self-awareness. It sounds harsh, but practicing self-love also means being honest with myself, and I needed to work hard enough to reach past my grief to course correct, as well. I know it is the only way I can move forward and live a healthy, prosperous life. It is time consuming but necessary work, building and rebuilding personhood. It requires discipline that I am not ashamed of admitting I am still working to refine.
My children and I have experienced feelings of abandonment we didn’t know existed, but we did it together. We entered ourselves into therapy. It is just one of the many coping-mechanisms. I felt the boys needed it, but I could not force them. It is deeply painful realizing we can’t keep our children from hurting or suffering, but our family has always persevered as a unit. We carry one another, and never leave one another without saying, “I love you!” because we know how precious our moments are. We are coming out of the fire, and we have been truly burned. We take nothing for granted and we understand the importance of family. While this page was not born out of suffering, it has become a source of healing.
As an educator, I strive to be a guiding glow, offering reassurance and support by lighting up the way through stories, conversations, and narration. If I can inspire others to enhance their lives through their own insights and talents, then I believe I have truly made a difference. Join me on this journey out of tragedy and into the strengths we always had but did not need until now. Personal development in ourselves and our communities through the power of blogging is right at our fingertips.
